D-League Odds Released From Shecky's East; Anaheim, Little Rock, BC Among Favorites

(last updated 11:23 AM Sunday, March 16, 2014)

The group winning odds were released Friday for the fifty-four teams in the UWFFL Developmental League, and among the favorites to win their groups were the Anaheim Bandits, the Little Rock Diamondbacks and the British Columbia Lumberjacks.  Anaheim had the lowest odds of any team, placed at 3:1 to win Group D.  Little Rock at 4:1 to win Group C and British Columbia at 4:1 to win Group F had the next best odds, while the Springfield Specters, at 100:1 to win Group D, had the longest odds of any team on the board.  Tuscon, also in Group D, and Virginia in Group B and Cincinnati in Group D, had the next longest odds at 50:1 to win their group.

The odds were released by Sheckey's Intergalactic Sportsbook East of Atlantic City, New Jersey. Sheckey's East Headlinesmaker Chrisley Sheridan (who friends call "Todd") stated that did not necessarily indicate that Anaheim was the best team and Springfield the worst.  "It takes into account not only the relative strength of each team, but also the strength of competition in each group.  Some groups are definitely more balanced than others."

Philadelphia and St. John's were co-favorites to win Group A at 6:1, with Ontario at 7:1 and Buffalo at 8:1. Rhode Island had the longest odds in Group A at 25:1.  Delaware and Greenville are co-favorites in Group B at 5:1, with Charleston at 6:1 and Charlotte at 8:1.  Savannah at 25:1 along with Virginia had the longest odds in Group B.

The Angle North Stars and the Milwaukee Mammoths were co-favorites in Group E at 5:1, despite the Mammoths having yet to release their uniforms yet.  "I think a lot of the strength of the Mammoths entry was the combination of both a strong logo, as well as the good results Mike (Johnson) had last fall with Sacramento and Vancouver," Sheridan stated.

Yellowknife, at 5:1, was second to the B.C. Lumberjacks in Group F, in what may be one of the weaker groups, with four teams at 30:1 or worse.  Northern Idaho, North Dakota, Spokane-Couer d'Alene were at 30:1, while Whitehorse has the longest odds in Group F at 40:1.  Pontiac at 30:1 and Winnipeg and Wisconsin at 25:1, all in Group E, found themselves in a group that had five teams at 7:1 or better odds.  After Angle and Milwaukee, Cheyenne was at 6:1, with both the Crown Royal Blacks and Fresno at 7:1.

Anaheim was the prohibitive favorite in their group, with the next best odds in Group D belonging to Dayton, Indiana and Toledo all at 10:1.

The UWFFL Developmental League begins play this weekend with twelve games featuring teams from Groups B, D and F.

The complete odds for all fifty-four teams to win their group can be viewed on Sheckey's website.

Savannah chosen first, Little Rock last in D-League 'Schedule Lottery'

The Fifty-Four teams that will begin play this weekend in the UWFFL Spring 2014 Developmental league participated in a "schedule lottery" to determine each team's schedule on Tuesday.  A pre-determined schedule was released in which the teams, arranged in six nine-team groups, will have the order of their opponents arranged.  Last week teams were placed into six mostly geographically arranged groups.

This reporter hurriedly scribbled down the results of the
lottery, unaware that everything would be presented
in a media handout minutes after the event was concluded.

Selected first was the Savannah Sledghammers, and fifty-fourth and last was the Little Rock Diamondbacks. By the order selected, each of the nine teams in each group was assigned a letter, from A to I.  The first team selected from each group was designated "Team A", and so forth until the ninth and final team to be selected from each group was designated "Team I".  After Savannah was selected, Cincinnati was chosen second and became 'Team A' in Group D, while Philadelphia, Mississippi and the Crown Royal Blacks from Winnipeg rounded out the top five.  Montana was selected sixth and became 'Team A' in Group F, and after six choices, each group had one team selected.  Delaware, chosen thirty-seventh, was the first team to close out its group and was designated 'Team I' in Group B.  Rhode Island was chosen 49th and became 'Team I' in Group A, and Boise, Dayton, Springfield and Whitehorse were chosen fiftieth through fifty-third before the Diamondbacks were the final team selected, and became 'Team I' in Group C.

These selections are largely academic and will have little to no impact on the results -- each team will play the other eight teams in the same group once, for an eight game schedule that will be played over a seventeen week period.  The first weekend of games will begin this Saturday, with twelve games featuring teams from Groups B, D and F.  The season will conclude with the seventeenth weekend of games on July 5.  Eighteen teams from the Developmental league, the teams that finish in the top three places in each group, will be placed in Division II this fall, while the teams that finish in fourth and fifth places in each group will be placed in Division III.  The remaining teams will be eligible to return next Spring for the 2015 Developmental League season.

The six group winners, along with the two best-finishing second place teams will compete in a three-round playoff for the UWFFL D-League Championship, with the first round on July 12, the semifinals on July 19 and the Championship on July 26.  Any ties for regular season group champion or wild card finishers will be broken by either head-to-head results or total votes, while any ties that have any bearing on placement of a team into a Fall league will be settled with tiebreaker games, also to be played on July 12, 19 or 26.

There won't be much time for turnaround, as the Division II sixteen game regular season begins on August 2. Division III will begin their inaugural season on August 16, while the UWFFL Bowl XIV Champion Minnesota Mustangs will begin their title defense a little later as the UWFFL Division I regular season will begin on September 6.

Among this weekend's marquee games are Charlotte at Greenville in Group B and Omaha at Dayton in Group D.

Tweet Confirms FSL returning for Fourth Season

FSL Tonight's Tom Merritt confirmed on Sunday that the FSL would be returning for a fourth season in 2014. Responding to a tweet from "Chris" (@darkpctv), Merritt replied that he and FSL Tonight co-host Justin Robert Young had just been remarking on that very topic earlier that day.

@darkpctv Funny you should ask! WE were just remarking on that ourselves today. Yes. @JustinRYoung
— Tom Merritt (@acedtect) March 9, 2014

In 2013, the San Francisco Federation won the FSL Championship with a thrilling 1-0 double overtime victory over the Gallifrey Time Lords in their first season at the top flight of the FSL. This year the FSL landscape will be a little different as the Federation begin defense of their title in a league which for the first time in a long time will have no Vulcan Velocity in it. The Velocity, long time rivals of the Federation, after reaching the Championship game in 2012, struggled in 2013 going 2-8 and were relegated to the minors.

The Federation will face an improved New York Avengers squad that they beat in the 2013 Semifinals in their division again, plus the league will feature three new teams in 2014, the Skaro Exterminators, the Ponyville Fillies and the Cylon Raiders.

World Bowl XVI - Utopia Power of Kiev vs Spartak Russia

Well we have finally made it to the final week of the inaugural UWWFL 2013-14 season.  

("This was longer than we thought it would be.  That's what she said".)  

Congratulations again to all of our champions, the <b>Minnesota Mustangs</b>, who won UWFFL Bowl XIV, the Anchorage Orcas, who won the minor league national championship game and will be promoted to the UWFFL next season, as well as the three conference champions, Hartford, Birmingham and Vancouver, who will also be promoted to the big league this fall.  Now it is Week 27 and this week we will crown one last champion as we present the championship of our international section, the La Lega Internaztionale di Uni Watchers Fantacalcio, World Bowl XVI in Sao Paolo, Brazil, along with a few exhibition games.

In the World Bowl, we have a matchup which some may find an analog to in current events.  Since, however, this is all just made up anyway, don't read to much into that when picking a winner.  Try to focus more on the team's uniforms than on which country is invading the other.  For the <b>Utopian Power</b> from Kiev, they have eschewed their normal red and blue colors and has are wearing a new World Bowl version of their away kit in the Ukrainian flag colors of blue and yellow, and which featurs the Ukrainian Tryzub (or, Trident), a symbol more than a millennium old and a part of the Ukrainian heraldic history since the very beginning of the 20th century.  The "home" team, <b>Spartak Russia</b> from Moscow, is <strike>dressed like an angry aggressor</strike> wearing their black third kit.

Our first post-season exhibition matchup is a memorial/benefit game in Copenhagen, Denmark, in honor of the unfortunate giraffe, Marius, who was <a href="http://world.time.com/2014/02/09/marius-giraffe-copenhagen-zoo/">euthanized and then fed to the lions in front of schoolchildren</a> last month at a Copenhagen Zoo because he "wasn't needed".  Our minor league team from Virginia, the Roanoke Giraffes are wearing a special uniform for this matchup against one of the international teams, the Stockholm Lutekvist, who are also debuting an updated look for this matchup.  Both teams are wearing special patches and helmet decals to honor Marius, and any imaginary money than may be raised by this game, were it to have been real, would have been donated to some sort of fund which seeks to stop zoos from mistreating animals.

Sadly, our two other exhibition matchups to wrap up the season have fallen through.  First there was <b>The Rob Ford Classic</b>, which was supposed to be held in Toronto, however everybody involved apparently was smoking crack or something because no teams showed up, and no one involved can even remember which teams were invited, or if any teams even were invited at all.

...and then finally, there was also supposed to be a game played in either Tijuana or Mexico City involving two teams that had found themselves at odds with league management, (and in one case, on the lam from the law), however that game was being organized without the league's blessing and outside of the league's jurisdiction, so we can't really tell you anything about it or if it is even taking place at all.  (Don't ask what FTV stands for.)

Well that's about all we have for you this season, we'll be back next week with Week 1 of the Spring 2014 Developmental League where fifty teams will begin to fight for placement in UWFFL's various leagues in the fall.    From the commissioner's podium, we bid you adieu.

UWFFL Division II National Championship - Anchorage vs Florida

Well after a one week delay due to weather-related issues, the excruciatingly long UWFFL schedule is finally coming to and end.  Our final (official) game of the year (not counting a few more weeks of international play which will culminate in the World Bowl) is this week's UWFFL BCS National Championship Game presented by Vicks NyQuil in Pasadena, California which will pit the #1 Florida Geckos from the Eastern Association, who finished the season 14-2 overall, against the #2 Anchorage Orcas, who went 17-2-1 out of the Pacific Coast Conference.

The winner of this game will receive the final promotion into the UWFFL's top tier this fall.

graphic

Both teams have stayed remarkable true to their uniform concepts during their seasons - and why wouldn't you when you've had the success they've had.  The Geckos had added a patch to their uniforms with their team initials, "FG" which was an alternate patch for their franchise in the 1960s and 1970s, but which only gets worn in postseason and Championship Games nowadays, and both teams are wearing the National Championship game patch.

Good luck to both teams and we'll see you in a few weeks for the World Bowl, plus who knows what UWFFL-related shenanigans may be in store for us during the off-season!

Mustangs Win UWFFL Bowl XIV

The Minnesota Mustangs defeated the Miami Cougars to win UWFFL Bowl XIV this weekend, 221-123.

UWFFL Slighted In Uni Watch Thanksgiving Column

by Russell Kammel
United Press Syndicate

The UWFFL received a stunning blow Thursday in the annual Thanksgiving Uni Watch column when Uni Watch creator Paul Lukas thanked the many contributors to the website but failed to mention the UWFFL or UWFFL founder and Uni Watch contributor Rob Holecko.  Every year in Uni Watch Lukas thanks the many contributors to his site, writing Thursday, "...I’m super-duper-thankful for all the people who keep this here (sic) site running, including interns Mike Chamernik and Garrett McGrath (two great new additions to the Uni Watch family), 'Collector’s Corner' columnist Brinke Guthrie, weekend contributors Terry Duroncelet and Catherine Ryan, webmaster John Ekdahl, and of course bench coach and weekend editor Phil Hecken, by far the hardest-working and most loyal collaborator anyone could ever hope for."

The UWFFL has been a steady weekend contribution to Uni Watch since their inaugural season launched this year, but has found it's contributions buried towards the bottom of the Saturday columns every week.

UWFFL founder Rob Holecko didn't seem surprised by this latest setback.  "To tell you the truth," Holecko stated late Thursday, "I'm not that surprised.  I don't think it was an intentional slight.  I think they just don't really consider the UWFFL, for whatever reason, a 'part' of Uni Watch.  It's disappointing, but not surprising.  I think they look at is as something that we contribute, but it's still 'outside' of Uni Watch, not officially sanctioned.  I'm proud of the GUD, that is a separate project, and they are more than glad to want to be a part of that, but this project is specifically for Uni Watch, to be a part of Uni Watch, to grow with the community, but it doesn't really seem to be taking a hold, to be top of mind.  It gets mentioned once a week, barely noticed, and then the perception is that it is forgotten until the following week."

"I mean, we see it every week, we can provide more content or less content, it doesn't matter.  Whatever we do, we get literally no response from the Uni Watch community in the comments.  It really makes me question the viability of the UWFFL going forward.  When we launched our first game back in August we got a prominent location on the site and received nearly a thousand votes in our first game.  Last week we put the Anchorage-Rapid City game in, a marquee matchup between two up and coming teams, and barely got over a hundred votes.  And our regular season games off the page, where we ask people to come to our site to vote?  Those get around forty, if we're lucky."

"We have great participation among the people that are actually in the league.  But as an entertainment product for the Uni Watch community as a whole?  I'd say for the most part we've failed."

2013 UWFFL Week 1 - "Patches Optional, Fun Mandatory"

Here's what's going on in the UWFFL this week. We were concerned that people were just looking at uniforms and voting without really taking the time to follow the teams and storylines and find out what's going on behind the scenes. So starting today, and for every week of the season, we'll be bringing you, here at the UWFFL Webpage, a Uni Watch-esque rundown of all the league happenings. All of you who clicked through to here from Uni Watch today, it's your lucky day -- it's like getting a whole second Uni Watch for free - two for the price of one. Check it all out and then vote further down below. For discussion and debate about all that's going on here in the UWFFL and it's affiliated minor leagues, be sure to check out and participate in the comments at Uni Watch. Voting on this week's games begins at 7 AM, Saturday September 7 and ends promptly at midnight, Monday September 9. All Times Eastern. + + + + + Sponsor Patches Update: Recently the league backtracked on its' stance on sponsor advertising patches on game uniforms. The state of advertising patches in the UWFFL is an ongoing debate. At first the league decreed that all teams were going to have them in all games, but some team owners balked at that, and the league softened its' stance and made the wearing of patches optional. But apparently some voters feel that sponsor patches are some sort of an instrument of corporate douchebaggery at work and perhaps would intentionally vote against a team merely because they were wearing a patch when their opponent wasn't. Therefore a team with a sponsor patch, while at a possible financial advantage, may be at a competitive disadvantage against a team without a patch, so the league decided to give teams with a patch that are scheduled to play an opponent without a patch, the option of not wearing the patch for such matchups. But at least one team has decided to keep wearing the ad patch in all of their games, even if it may hurt them in games against teams without sponsor patches. So now what we have is a mish-mash of standards where some teams will wear patches all of the time, some teams will wear them some of the time, and other teams will wear them none of the time. Sheesh. Be forewarned, however, that it may cost you more to attend a game if your team isn't wearing a sponsor's patch. What started out as an initiative to bring additional revenue to teams that wouldn't involve raising ticket prices, has therefore wound up backfiring and resulting in the exact opposite result than what they intended. + + + + + UWFFL News: Week one of the UWFFL season is getting underway, the Chicago Cyclones are at the New York Sharks, and the game features New York wearing its' standard white at home look, with visting Chicago in red. Chicago may soon be announcing both an alt and a new throwback uni, so stay tuned...New York, meanwhile, has recently come out with an alt of its' own...Detroit and Miami are wearing standard home and aways, but those road unis don't look half as good on the Demons as they do on a member of Detroit's famed Succubi cheer squad...The Tampa Terror are wearing their gold helmet for the first time, while the Minnesota Mustangs are wearing their blue home unis on the road, giving us our first color-vs-color matchup...The Texas Timberwolves are going mono-green, while the San Diego Storm are going mono-teal...Meanwhile, the Storm's opponent, the Seattle Superbeasts, are wearing their fourth different combo in as many games - perhaps they truly are the "Oregon" of the UWFFL...Fearing voter backlash, the Atlanta Flying Fleet removed their Comfort Suites sponsor patches (see also 'Sponsor Patches Update' above) for their game against the ad-free St. Louis Slaughter. Atlanta won it's first two preseason games without any ads, but after adding the Comfort Suites patch two weeks ago, they lost their preseason game against Birmingham...In that Mustangs-Terror matchup, Tampa has recently added grocery chain Publix as their uniform sponsor, however with the Mustangs going sponsor-less, they will wait until next week to debut a Publix patch. Sorry Tampa fans, I guess your tickets to the game might be a few bucks more, too. + + + + + Eastern Association News: The Roanoke Giraffes broke out a unique "Girafflage" uni set for their game against the Washington Huskers. The set is intended to honor the military and support the Wounded Warrior Project...The Raleigh Aeronauts chose to open their league schedule wearing mono-red against the Brooklyn Mariners. This game is the battle of comfort foods as the Mariners are sponsored by Benny's Beef Franks, while the Aeronauts are backed by Mean Street Pizza...The New York Garbologists looked like they just stepped out of Derek Jeter's closet as they opened the season wearing white at home (or should we say "Pinstripe At Home"?), forcing the Florida Geckos to wear their home green unis on the road. It is belived the Garbologists will wear this Yankee-esque combo at home all year long...Meanwhile, the Hartford Whalers debuted their home unis, white with green pants, and they looked like they just stepped out of the NHL, while their cross-state rival opponents, the Connecticut Convicts, are wearing one of their mono-orange alts with the chain-link decoration. With the prison motif, I guess you could say "OFOS" (Orange For Orange's Sake) because after all, Orange Is The New Black...The Brooklyn Uni Watchers, the always nattily attired barometers of good athletic aesthetic taste, open their home league schedule wearing green jerseys and white pants. Look for them to always wear green with white or white with green. "The monochromatic white look that we saw them wear in the preseason just looked horrible. Why would you go monochromatic, when you have uniform choices that look as good (as those two combos) do," said a source who chose to remain anonymous. They appear to be heavily favored against the Carolina Kronik this week, but then you never really know...Speaking of the Kronik, they are apparently considering a name change for next season. + + + + + Central League News: All five Central League games look pretty standard this week...The Eagle Harbor Portals are in their only uniform of course, the gradient, however it was recently discovered they had been wearing the 'Eastern Association' patch by mistake. It has been fixed...It is the battle of monochrome in Nashville where the Swisshelm Express went all white against the Nashville Rockets who are wearing all blue. I hope the Rockets are ready to play -- all week I've been watching their head coach running his mouth on ESPN...Sure, the Youngstown Bobcats wore white-over-beige on the road, but which white-over-beige? Did you know they have three different road white jerseys? What's up with that?...The Cleveland Bearcats are the only team in any of the UWFFL leagues to wear a large letter, the letter "C" for "Cleveland" (or maybe it's for "greatness"?), on the front of their jersey where a player number usually would be. Instead they wear it on the upper right, where most teams wear their league patch. And they wear the league patch on the upper left, where some teams have sponsor patches...The league has been asked about Cleveland's non-standard template, and an unnamed source said that the commisionner's office accepted the Bearcat submission because it was "close enough" to the league mandated template. + + + + + Pacific Coast Conference News: Not only are the Portland Gamblers going white at home, but they are wearing their 1952 throwbacks with the dollar sign on the side of the helmet. Is it just us, or does Portland have a lot of alts and throwbacks? We've lost count of how many they have, and it's is hard to keep them straight...The Dallas Outlaws, a recent entry into the league, joined too late to play a preseason game, however, they make their league debut today against the Las Vegas Lightning...The East Bay Executioners would like to remind everybody that the red on their shoes comes from the pools of blood of their victims that they would be standing in as they perform executions...The Oakland Ad Dragons made a last-second change from silver pants to black pants and we think it makes all the difference. (Still gotta do something about that luchidor mask on the side of the helmet, however. Although, I'm not sure what the Los Angeles YouTubers are thinking in that mono-red set with the white helmet, either)...Speaking of the YouTubers, they announced they have agreed to a sponsorhip arrangment with Google. No conflict of interest there? Anyone?...Rumors are that the Vancouver Seawolves have decided that their charcoal uni set will be their main home uniform, while the green uniform will be their alt, but that's always subject to change, y'know? They open their season against the Anchorage Orcas, the early favorites to win the PCC...Speaking of rumors, the Sacramento Scorpions have been rumored to be on the move to the East all summer long, but apparently they are staying put in the PCC for now...The only two teams not playing this week are in the PCC, the Promontory Golden Spikes and the San Antonio Black Knights both have byes. + + + + + On The Airwaves: 970 KDSF's Dick Schaefer Show previewed the first week of UWFFL action on Friday. You can check out the podcast here...Be sure to follow 970 KDSF all season long for the best UWFFL coverage, not only of their hometown San Francisco Reign Fire of the UWFFL, but league-wide news as well...Monday will be the debut of This Week In The UWFFL, a short fifteen minute weekly podcast hosted by Jackson Tate and Drew Abernathy that will wrap up each week's action...It and all of 970 KDSF's programming is part of the SportPuck Network. + + + + + Want To Join? It's never to late to sign up for the UWFFL. We're always accepting new expansion teams into our minor leagues. Depending on when your team starts playing, you may or may not be eligible for the post-season, but you can at least get a few games under your belt and some practice for next year. E-mail us or check out our Google+ pages and start working on your uniforms today! + + + + + In The Kitchen*: Here at UWFFL Headquarters we like meat too -- there's no vegetarians here -- but I don't have a big green egg to fire up, any prime cuts of beef, veal or pork in the freezer, nor a trendy little butchery down the road. So I did the next best thing, I cooked up some frankfurters (fancy term for hot dogs) that I had sitting in the fridge. These weren't just any hot dogs, discriminatorily made from only either 100% chicken, 100% beef or 100% pork. No these were true egalitarian hot dogs, made up of mechanically separated pieces of chicken, pork and beef. A true hot dog for the people! And rather than spend over three bucks on some fancy-schmancy all-beef bun length franks that don't leave much room in the bun for even a simple bead of ketchup, these babys were "Gwaltney" traditionals (sorry, Benny's Beef Franks!) that I got for 94 cents at the Bi-Lo. What a deal! I was kind of in a hurry, so instead of bringing a pot of water to a boil and doing it the slow way, I slapped a couple of them down on a paper towel and threw them in the microwave and Voila! - Thirty seconds later I had a meal! I also had some hot dog chili sitting in the pantry, but I decided to leave it there - the chili gave me heartburn last time I had it, and I had a webpage to get back to anyway. The only dissapointment was I forgot to shake the ketchup, so for the first squirt I got a nasty splooge of that ketchupy-watery stuff that comes out if you don't shake it properly. But all in all it was a good meal.    I didn't invite any friends over for a backyard get together for this feast. I dined alone.    (*-The name Culinary Corner was taken.) + + + + + Coming next week - the debut of the UWFFL Power Rankings. Find out how your team stacks up against the competition! Enjoy the games, get out there and vote -- and we'll see you next week! Then head back to the Uni Watch comments, dish out a heapin' helpin' of trash talk and troll away!

Removal Of Sponsor Patches May Lead To Increased Ticket Prices

reprinted from The Seattle Post-Dispatch, Thursday, September 5, 2013
 
     SEATTLE - A source speaking on the condition on anonymity admitted Wednesday that the Seattle Superbeasts may choose to raise single game ticket prices to make up for a shortfall in revenue that would occur if they do not wear sponsor patches in all fourteen regular season games.
      On Monday the UWFFL announced that a competitive disadvantage may occur if one team wearing a sponsor patch is playing another team not wearing a sponsor patch.  The Atlanta Flying Fleet, for instance, won their first two preseason games while not wearing sponsor patches, yet they added their Comfort Suites sponsor patches for their August 25 game against Birmingham and lost 64-40.
     In the UWFFL, games are decided by fan vote.  If fans are specifically voting against teams just because of the presence of a sponsor patch, then it would lead to an unfair situation whenever one team with a sponsor patch is playing another team without.
     Since wearing a sponsor patch may therefore hinder a team's performance, both on the field and in the polls, the league decided to make the wearing of the patches optional, and if a team with a title sponsor was playing a team without one, the team with a sponsor would have the option of not wearing their patches in those games.
     After meeting with their corporate partners, who in some cases have put up millions of dollars to have their image and products adorn the UWFFL teams' uniforms, they agreed that if sponsorship advertising was not worn by some teams in some games, the league would have to rebate some of the sponsorship fees that the advertising was going to generate. 
     In the case of the Superbeasts, that means a possible shortfall in revenue.
     "All I can tell you," the source stated off the record, "is that when we were approached by the league with the sponsorship program guidelines, including the increased revenue that the program would generate, we adjusted our projected profit margins accordingly.  Now with the modifications to the program, that revenue does not meet those projections.  The team's Board of Governors, however, approved an operating budget and expenditure plan for the 2013-14 fiscal year based on those projections.  The shortfall would have to be made up somewhere, and after a careful analysis of our whole operation, the simplest and easiest solution is to raise ticket prices."
     "Since season ticket holders are already locked in at their fee structure, the difference would be applied just to single game purchases.  We decided the the fairest thing to do was to just apply the rate increase to games in which the team will not be wearing the sponsor patches.  Therefore for games in which the Superbeasts are not wearing their sponsorship patches, we will see an increase in single game ticket prices of between $8-$30 per ticket."
     "We would love to keep the sponsorship patches on for all games, however we are also committed to putting the most competitive product on the field that we can.  When you tell me that we may lose a game because we are wearing a sponsor patch when our opponent isn't, then it's an easy call for me -- we lose the patches.  Unfortunately what comes with that is a decrease in revenue, which has to be made up somewhere."
     "I think if you ask real, true Superbeasts fans about that, they want to win, if it costs them an extra eight to thirty dollars a game, then 'so be it,' they'll say.  These fans deserve a championship, and we want to bring it to them.  In fact some of these fans, a few I spoke with today, I feel they are proud to do their part in helping the team.  They feel like by paying an extra $20 or so, if it helps make the team a winner, then they feel like they are doing their part."
     "If you want to blame anybody, blame the liberal voters who are opposed to sponsorship patches and vote teams down for wearing them.  These people vote on these games with an agenda, and that agenda is to removes the ad patches from the game, they don't want them in the game.  When they vote like that, in these kind of numbers, it affects the outcome of games, I think the league had no choice.  It is a shame that something as innocuous as a patch on a football uniform has to be politicized and made a pawn in this greater debate."
     "It is truly a shame, that because of this agenda, these regular joe working class Americans now have to shell out more dollars to see a football game.  It's just sad."
     Calls to the Superbeasts' PR department and general manager's office, as well as league officials, were not returned.
     The initial UWFFL plan regarding team sponsorhips indicated that all teams would wear sponsor patches in all games, however some team owners balked at that.
     Said Jeff ("The") Provo, owner of the Minnesota Mustangs on July 7, "Discord will rule Equestria before the Mustangs put a (darn) ad on their jerseys."  Shortly thereafter the league decided to make having sponsorship (and patches) optional.

Giraffes To Honor Wounded Warriors With Special Uniforms

     For their Sept. 8th game against the Washington Huskers, the Roanoke Giraffes release their "Girafflage" unis. Jenna Marquis, one of the Giraffes' PR reps, says, "The uniforms are combining the natural camo of the Giraffe with the Woodland's color palette previously worn by the US Military. Since we will be focusing on troops past and present with this uniform, we will auction off the jerseys and helmets after the game to raise funds for the Wounded Warriors Foundation."

     When Coach McManus was asked about the uniforms he replied, "I don't normally like changing from our standard uniforms on gameday. They represent Roanoke, the Giraffe herd, and our team. They did keep my suggestion to use the spotted pattern and we'll look good on the field. I hope we can raise enough money from the auction to help a few families in the area."

Atlanta GM Blames Loss On Advertising Patches

reprinted from The Atlanta Vindicator, Tuesday, August 27, 2013
 
     ATLANTA - Atlanta Flying Fleet GM Mickey Lollis blamed his team's preseason loss to the minor league Birmingham Vulcans this weekend on the presence of advertising patches.
     "I don't want to take away anything from what (the Vulcans) did on the field, but when you see the outcome, the two teams that were matched up.  I think what happened was obvious.  Yes, it was because of the patches.  It had to be."
     The Fleet lost to the Vulcans 64-40 in their first game wearing the sponsorship patches of the Comfort Suites, a nationwide hotel chain that is affiliated with Choice Hotels, Inc. 
     The Fleet had been 2-0 and had won their first two preseason games, not wearing any advertising patches, by the scores of 645-492 and 285-256.  Their win in the UWFFL Preseason opener on August 4 against the San Francisco Reign Fire set multiple league records for votes received.
     "You're gonna tell me that a team gets almost 650 votes without a patch and then only gets 40 votes when wearing a patch is just a coincidence?  I was born in the dark, but not last night."
     "I don't think it says anything about Comfort Suites.  I've always had a great time every time I've ever stayed in one of their hotels.  Friendly people.  Nice mattresses.  Always a good night's sleep.  The staff is always wonderful."
     "If I have anything to say about the Comfort Suites that is not complimentary, it would be, and it's not their fault, but the occasional jackass that I'm usually behind when I'm checking in.  It's always the same kind of guy -- he had a request because he wanted to be on a particular floor, and they didn't have it.  This one guy the other night -- he complained that the luggage carts wheels were low on air.  Can you believe that!?  The luggage cart!  Who complains about that?!"
     "What a jackass."

Miami wins TBFFL Bowl IV 72-65

Victory over Seattle gives Cougars back-to-back titles; Superbeasts 0-3 in the big game

For the second year in a row, Priest Holmes led the Miami Cougars to the TBFFL Championship. Holmes led the Cougars with 17 points, as they held on to beat the Seattle Superbeasts, 72 to 65. Seattle got 37 points from LaDanian Tomlinson Sunday afternoon, but it wasn't enough to prevent the S-Beasts from losing their third TBFFL Bowl. Miami, 12-6, also got 12 from WR Koren Robinson. QB Marc Bulger, who quarterbacked both teams, scored 10, and was the only Seattle player besides Tomlinson in double-digits.

Miami held a 27-5 lead after Saturday's action, as Kevan Barlow's 7 and Patriots' kicker Adam Vinatieri scored 6 to go with Robinson's 14. Holmes scored his 17 during Sunday's early action, while Seattle's Tony Gonzalez (5), Deuce McAllister (4), and Chad Johnson (2) were held to a combined 11 points, and Seattle, 15-3, looked to be headed to defeat, trailing 69-26. Tomlinson, however, tried his best to bring the Superbeasts back, rushing for 245 yards and 2 touchdowns in a 21-14 Charger victory over the Raiders. The comeback fell short, however, as Seattle WR Anquan Boldin only scored 2, while Miami's Freddie Jones scored three, and the Cougars held on.Miami, who defeated Tampa 84-79 in last year's TBFFL Bowl, are 2-0 in TBFFL Bowls, while Seattle falls to 0-3. The Cougars and the Superbeasts are the only teams that have appeared in more than one TBFFL Bowl. Seattle lost to Connecticut in 2001 and Texas in 2000.

QB Marc Bulger, who became the first person to start for both teams in one TBFFL game, was injured in the Rams' 30-20 loss to Detroit Sunday and his status for the Rams' first playoff game, which will be January 10 or 11, is uncertain. He scored 10 points, with 170 yards passing and 1 TD and 1 INT, before being replaced by Kurt Warner in the fourth quarter.

Holmes rushed for only 50 yards, but had two touchdowns in the Chiefs' 31-3 victory over the Bears Sunday.

Miami wins 2nd GFC Title; 106-76 over Reapers

Seattle defeats Terror 100-58, reaches 3rd TBFFL Bowl

Fred Taylor's 28 points Sunday, along with 28 from Priest Holmes on Saturday, led the Miami Cougars to a 30-point victory over the Grand Rapids Reapers, and the Cougars reached their second TBFFL Bowl in as many years. Peyton Manning and Marvin Harrison, Grand Rapids' leaders this year, came up small in a 31-17 Indianapolis loss to Denver Sunday night. Manning only managed 5 points, with no touchdowns, and Harrison only scored 8. The Ravens defense led the Reapers (9-8) scoring with 26 points. Miami (11-6), goes for their second consecutive TBFFL Championship next week against the Seattle Superbeasts.

Seattle wrapped up a victory in the SFC Championship Game over Tampa, as LaDanian Tomlinson scored 2 TDs en route to a 21 point performance, and Seattle breezed to a 100-48 lead going into Monday. Ryan Longwell added 10 points Monday Night, but it wasn't enough, as Seattle (15-2) advanced to their third TBFFL Bowl. They lost TBFFL Bowl II to the Connecticut Convicts and in 2000, they lost the inaguaral TBFFL Bowl to the Texas Timberwolves. This year's SFC Championship game avenges last year's SFC title game, in which Tampa defeated Seattle 103-91. The Terror (12-5) were led by 28 points by Priest Holmes.

The Cougars, winners of last year's TBFFL Bowl over Tampa, and the Superbeasts, have the best two records in the TBFFL over the past two seasons. Since the beginning of the 2002 season, Seattle is a league-best 29-5, with two division titles, and Miami is a second-best 27-7-1, with only one divisional title, however they do have a TBFFL championship, while Seattle, which is 51-17 over their four years in the TBFFL, is still looking for it's first.

Marc Bulger quarterbacks both Seattle and Miami, in the inter-conference championship game. Last year Priest Holmes was on both Tampa and Miami's rosters, however he was held out of the Week 17 TBFFL Bowl because he did not play in Kansas City's final game last year with an injury.

49ers lead way to an All-Ron TBFFL Bowl

The San Francisco 49ers may be 6-9, but in the TBFFL, they are world beaters. Terrell Owens set an NFL record with 20 catches, passing the record of 18 set by Tom Fears in 1950. Tennessee's Eddie George ran for 3 touchdowns in the snow against the Cleveland Browns in a 24-0 shutout. Owens' 33 points and George' 32 for Seattle (10-6) gave them a 90-58 lead over Pittsburgh (11-4-1) in the TBFFL semi-final after the Sunday afternoon games.

In the other semi-final, Texas (10-6) clicnhed the victory over the Atlanta Flying Fleet, leading 48-40 Sunday. Atlanta (11-5) held a 25-8 lead after the 1:00 games with the "Purple Attack" of the Baltimore Ravens, Trent Dilfer, Jamal Lewis and Qadry Ismail set to "open it up" on the Arizona Cardinals. Lewis ran for a touchdown and 126 yards as Baltimore beat Arizona 13-7, but Dilfer and Ismail combined for just 1 point, which opened the door for Texas to get to TBFFL Bowl I, as Jeff Garcia threw for over 400 yards, and 27 points.

Rob, who benched Kurt Warner, Cris Carter, Tim Brown and Al Del Greco to try to shake things up, was disappointed Sunday Evening. "Well, I gambled and I lost. Cris Carter had a touchdown. Ahman Green had a big game. And the Ravens didn't do anything. I figured they'd beat the Cardinals 48-0. I just hope Warner doesn't have a big game tommorrow night. Trent Dilfer! Hah!"

Holiday Holds On, Atlanta & Detroit Win

Packers' D comes up 5 points short for Outlaws, but Dallas still alive

Monday night's Packers-Pathers game (or Pack-Cats if you were watching ABC's telecast) wasn’t as dramatic as three weeks ago when Antonio Freeman's juggling overtime catch defeated Minnesota, but don't tell that to the TBFFL fans watching.

Brett Favre and Ryan Longwell for Phoenix as well as Steve Beuerlein for Texas both failed to score enough points for their teams to overtake Atlanta and Detroit. The Flying Fleet and the Demons, (both 9-4) can both still win the Western Division title. The Circles and the T-Wolves, both 7-6 and assured of being in the playoffs, will meet in the season finale next week. Both teams are a game behind the 8-5 Seattle Superbeasts, who play Holiday. All three teams still have a chance of winning the Central Division title. Seattle controls their own destiny and would take the division with a win, but if they lose, they would be in a tiebreaker with the winner of the Phoenix-Texas game. If it is Phoenix, Phoenix would have the advantage, they would have a 4-2 division record, compared with Seattle's 3-3. If Seattle and Texas wind up tied, it would be decided by point differential in divisional games. Going into Week 14, Seattle leads Texas +9 to +2. If they were to end up tied after this weeks games' the tiebreaker would go to Texas based on net points overall.

But the important matchup decided last night was between 5-7 Holiday and 5-7 Dallas. Both teams desperately needed a win if they wanted to qualify for the playoffs. The Vikings held a 9 point lead, with Green Bay special teams yet to play for the Outlaws. They were only able to score 4 points on 2 sacks, 1 interception and 1 fumble recovery, but Dallas remained alive, albeit remotely, to get in the playoffs next week, they would need to beat Atlanta, and have both Miami and Tampa lose. Miami, who has continued to struggle since losing Terrell Davis and Brian Griese, and Holiday can both clinch the final two playoff spots with wins this week. Tampa, like Dallas, needs some help to make the playoffs. If either Holiday or Miami lose, the Terror would get in with a win.

The two teams of these four that fail to make the playoffs will compete with Chicago and Jacksonville for the right (not) to meet in the Toilet Bowl, Dec. 18.

Good luck, everybody!

Seattle in Playoffs, Phoenix and T-Wolves back their way in; Dallas-Holiday battle to be decided tonight

Atlanta and Detroit keep pace a top the Western Division, both winning big

The Seattle Superbeasts (8-5) have apparently completed their trek from last place to the playoffs by winning their fifth straight game, and clinching a playoff spot, defeating the Tampa Terror (5-7-1), whose own playoff hopes are seriously in doubt after losing their third straight. The S-Beasts lead 78 to 75 with only Green Bay's Bubba Franks playing tonight for Seattle. The Tampa loss also puts Phoenix (7-5) and Texas (7-5) into the playoffs, even though they both are losing to Detroit and Atlanta, respectively (both 8-4). The Crop Circles trail the Demons by 32, but Phoenix has both Brett Favre and Ryan Longwell tonight. Texas still has Steve Beurelein QB-ing the Panthers tonight, but they trail Atlanta by 30. A Fleet win and a Demon loss would give the Western Division to Atlanta.

Seattle, who was lead by Donovan McNabb's 25 points, could take the Central Division out-right with a win next week, assuming Favre or Beuerlein don't have a shootout tonight.

In a game with major playoff implications, Dallas (5-7) trails Holiday (also 5-7) by nine points, with the Green Bay defense going for the Outlaws tonight. "My Packer-D is going to come up big tonight, I can feel it," said Dallas Outlaw owner Patrick Bryant Monday Morning. The loser would fall behind the Terror and be in serious danger of missing the playoffs. The winner would be tied at 6-7 with Miami and be in a good position to grab one of the final playoff spots next week.

The Lakers, meanwhile, loss to the Eastern Division Champion Pittsburgh Gators in blowout fashion, as they continue their injuried-plagued slump, dropping their thrid straight. Pittsburgh (9-3-1) has the best record in the league and can wrap up the #1 seed in the playoffs with a win over the Jacksonville Jackals.

Jacksonville (3-10), who had won two in a row after starting 1-9, loss to the Chicago Cyclones (also 3-10) in what could be a preview of the Toilet Bowl. They trail by nine points, with the Cyclones still having Bill Schroeder tonight.

Check back here tommorrow morning for official results and a updated look at the playoff picture.

TBFFL Draft Today

Draft Day: Who Will Go #1, Warner or Manning?

The TBFFL draft is only hours away, yet it appears to still be up in the air who will be taken with the number one pick.  Rob Holecko, owner of the Atlanta Flying Fleet, is apparently still undecided who to take, although it appears he will definitely take a quarterback.

"I am about 90% sure I'll be taking a quarterback.  Whether it's Manning or Warner, now I don't know.  Right this minute, I'm leaning toward Kurt Warner, just because I think that if he does his best, he'll have far and away the highest stats this year.  However, Manning probably has a lessor downside, that is Warner is probably more of a risk.  Of course injuries can hit anybody, and I think we saw that last year."

Last year, with the sixth pick, Rob took Ricky Williams, the rookie Saints running back.  While Williams did play for some of the year, it was still a gamble that didn't pay off.  "Yes, he was pretty much a bust.  But he did get some yards and points, unlike some of the higher picks, Terrell Davis (who went #1 to Detroit) and Jamaal Anderson (#5 Colorado) both went higher and were out for the year.  I can assure you I won't be taking Ron Dayne with the first pick," Rob said with a laugh.